I am in a season in my life where I feel like I'm going nonstop. To-do lists are never ending, I'm working constantly, trying to balance all the different aspects of my life. Now, throw in my innate bad habit of not being able to say "no". It is a hot mess express! So, today I'm talking about being able to say "no" and reassuring that it is okay to do so.
Before we start, I know that it is important to dive into why we have this behavior (why I have this behavior). Growing up, I always felt the need to be "on" and I was always trying to impress people because I never felt like I was enough. Or if I said "no" I would be shamed and told I'm rude or mean or WHATEVER. Which is not cool at all. I cannot live to please everybody, YOU cannot live to please everybody.
So, I made a conscious decision to implement boundaries with literally everyone in my life whether they liked it or not. Implementing boundaries does not make you or me rude or apathetic or ungrateful or disrespectful. In fact, it displays that we care. It gives you the room to recharge yourself, to keep your mind calm and collected, and keep your mindset healthy so that when you are able to be there and say "yes", you're in a positive mindset and fully there for them.
Another step I have taken is checking in with myself more often and setting aside a few hours each week where I turn my phone off and become fully present. Whether I'm sitting on my patio reading a book for a few hours, going to Universal for an afternoon and just having fun, or even cleaning, it is time solely for myself that no one else is allowed into. It has been extremely therapeutic for resetting my mindset, but it has also doubled as an exercise in being comfortable being on my own and doing things alone.
So, this post was not a step-by-step guide by any means. However, I did my best to give you advice on the two steps that helped me. It is okay to say "no", and if you are being shamed for doing so that is on that person not you. There is value in saying "yes", but I'll visit that in another post! I hope you all have a wonderful week and please don't forget to take care of yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally. Xx