Reflection On Femininity...


My whole life I’ve dealt with the warring sides of my personality. I’ve embraced the soft, loving feminine side of myself and high-fived the fun-loving, sassy side that definitely has got a healthy dash of spice!


Recently I’ve been reflecting on these two sides of the same coin, of the same person. Who is she really? Can these two sides coexist or will one win out in the end?

The answer is they can be entirely cohesive.

The demure feminine side is the essence of us as women. We desperately want to hold out our arms to others and cajole them into our waiting embrace. We want people to feel safe. We want them to know we want them to be loved by us, and maybe, just maybe, feel a little bit of that love in return.


The sassy, fun-loving, independent side has a thirst to prove herself. She challenges you every time you make eye contact with yourself in the mirror and you feel her pushing, no, dragging, you forward when you feel broken down. She’s the one who will see the challenge in others eyes and say “Let’s do this thing.” And you’ll conquer that mountain. You’ll look in the mirror and say “We’re pushing ourselves to the best version we can be,” and you’ll see that you ARE. Every time you fall she’s there to remind you that you’ve picked yourself up before and you will again.

I’ve fallen in love with these two sides of the same coin. I’ve watched the soft feminine side hold me with her own arms and cradle me. I’ve watched her teach me how to hold my own hand, and love myself as I am, flaws and all. Then I’ve watched the woman who will set the world on fire pick me up off the ground and tell me that I’m stronger than whatever challenge I’m facing, “so slap on some under eye eyeliner and do the damn thing”. Despite everything that I have gone through these last few years, the strong, soft woman I see in the mirror has pulled me through the most hellish of circumstances and the most tender, happy moments I’ve experienced. So, to the person who is reading this, all I will say is that you’re stronger than you can possibly imagine and you’ve got what you’re looking for looking right at you if you just look in the mirror.